And look what I woke up to this cold and frosty morn! A brand spanking new sequel to where all my apparent issues stem from! You can find the book, Angel's Baby, right here: http://www.amazon.com/Angels-Baby-ebook
Eva Mensah isn’t happy. To the outside world, she has the perfect life; a gorgeous musically talented husband and a beautiful little boy. But Gabriel Walker happens to be half way across the world on tour in Australia. And her five month old baby boy is evidently displeased by her parenting skills. She can’t do anything right by little Elijah. A world of emotion keeps her from admitting to her husband and her family that past events of two years ago are threatening to swallow her sanity whole. Eva can’t help but feel overwhelmed by being a new mother and inadequate to cope alone.
Especially when she can still see bad things.
Really bad things.
Definitely not when they happen to her and certainly not when they start happening to her son. Unable to decide what’s real and what’s imagined, Eva struggles to keep the life she so desperately wanted, from dissolving into hell.
The phone rang in the house. She needed to go now. No, to having another argument with her husband and definitely no, to having an argument with her husband in front of his parents. Malgosia stood up to answer it, and Eva collected all of their belongings.
“Evangeline, it’s your husband. Come and talk to him.”
“I’ll call him later. I need to get Elijah home.” At the car, she tucked her baby into the car seat. “Thank you for today. I appreciate it.”
“Evangeline,” Isaak said softly. “You can trust us. With anything.”
“I know,” she lied.
The seat fit perfectly into the car for once and she and Elijah made their way back to Maida Vale. Feeling little more than super-efficient, she marched Elijah back into the house and gave him a brisk but thorough bath. The phone rang and rang. Infuriated, she put Elijah into his crib and snatched it up. “You are disturbing my child.”
“You’re disturbing me, Evangeline. What the hell is going on?”
“Look, everyone, every single person is weighing in on what I do. If it wasn’t that my arse had the audacity to marry you, it’s that I had the temerity to get pregnant. And now I have a child, I’m not looking after him right. He’s too thin. I’m not feeding him enough. I’m not showing him that I love him. And there’s you, halfway across the fucking world again when you’re needed. I know, it’s a contract and if you don’t honour it we lose everything, we can’t support our child. But I really, really could have done without the accusation of you cheating on me and if I don’t joke about it, I will cry. That’s all I do these days. Cry. And not fucking sleep.”
Silence ruled the telephone line for so long, Eva called out “hello” down the line.
“I’m still here.”
“That’s what’s up, honestly.”
“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“You should know,” Eva said, her voice breaking. “I shouldn’t have to tell you.”
“Yeah, you get that you’re the only empath in this relationship, right? So, you need to talk to me.” He exhaled heavily. “Look. Let me sort out some nannies on my side for you at least. And maybe...”
“See a doctor.”
“To tell me that I’m what? Depressed? I know I am. How do I breastfeed on antidepressants?”
Gabriel sucked in a breath. “Angel, if you can’t look after yourself, you can’t look after Elijah. I’ll book an appointment for you.”
“Then what happens if I’m too depressed to look after Elijah at all?”
“He’ll be with me, until you’re better. Small steps, Angel.”
“Okay,” she agreed.
“I love you, so much. You know that, don’t you?”
It took her several swallows to push back the tears clogging her throat. “I do. And I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
“Try and sleep. I’ll call you as soon as I can.”
“Night.”Not feeling much more reassured by the talk, she returned to her son’s room. She turned on his crib mobile and “Rock-a-Bye Baby” played in delicate notes above him. He watched her action and reached out to her. She kissed both his starfished hands and left the room, to feel anything other than the weight of her responsibility to that child. Fuck. There definitely was something wrong with her.